


Like There's No Tomorrow

by JasperLuver48



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, M/M, Male Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-02
Updated: 2012-06-02
Packaged: 2017-11-06 16:15:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/420839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasperLuver48/pseuds/JasperLuver48
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you deal when the relationship is over and you don't want to leave but you know you have to? You spend one last night together loving like there's no tomorrow. Will Paul leave or will he stay? Only tomorrow will tell...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like There's No Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to the wonderful ladies who pre-read this for me: MizzHyde, handsandfingers, and tiffaninichole. They are amazing girls and they rule my world.
> 
> I must give mad props to my stand-in beta the fantastic and beautiful Lindz26. This girl owns me hard and I love her to pieces!
> 
> This story was inspired by two songs… It's told in Paul POV and the song behind it is Tomorrow by Chris Young. Jacob has his own spot where his words are inspired by a song called Love Don't Run by Steve Holy. If you care to listen to the songs, you'll be able to see exactly how they play into the plot. 
> 
> I hope you all like this as much as I do because these boys wouldn't stop whispering in my ear until I told their story!
> 
> WARNING: Angst and Sad ahead… 
> 
> Tomorrow by Chris Young
> 
> Tomorrow I'm gonna leave here.  
> I'm gonna let you go and walk away like every day I said I would.  
> And tomorrow, I'm gonna listen.  
> to that voice of reason inside my head telling me that we're no good.
> 
> [Chorus]  
> But tonight I'm gonna give it one last time.  
> Rock you strong in these arms of mine.  
> Forget all the regrets that are bound to follow.  
> We're like fire and gasoline.  
> I'm no good for you.  
> You're no good for me.  
> We only bring each other tears and sorrow.  
> But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow.
> 
> I'll be stronger.  
> I'm not gonna break down and call you up when my heart calls out for you.  
> And tomorrow, you won't believe it,  
> but when I pass your house,  
> I won't stop no matter how bad I want to.
> 
> [Chorus]
> 
> Baby when we're good, you know we're great.  
> But there's too much bad for us to think that there's anything worth trying to save.
> 
> [Chorus]
> 
>  
> 
> I'm gonna leave here.  
> I'm gonna let you go and walk away like every day I said I would.

"I don't fucking know what you want from me anymore!" I scream at Jacob as I turn to walk out of the bedroom door, slamming it hard to emphasize my point.

I'm sick of everything; the arguing, the screaming, the accusations. Honestly I don't even know what we are fighting about anymore. The point is we're fighting… again. I barely make it halfway down the hall before Jacob catches me and spins me around to face him.

"I'm sorry, baby," he's saying. "I'm so sorry…" He keeps repeating it over and over but I honestly don't hear it as my eyes have zeroed in on his face and the fact that there is a steady stream of tears running down it.

We've fought a lot in the past three years, which is to be expected when you have two very dominant personalities in the same relationship, but I've never seen my Jacob cry and my heart rips in two as I see it happening.

It's agonizing to realize that all of our fighting and screaming and pure lack of concern for the other's feelings in the past few months has broken my boy down so much that he's resorted to crying.

Jacob wraps his arms around my waist, holding me close to him. I know this is wrong… I shouldn't let him do this. If I'm leaving, I shouldn't give him false hope. I should be stronger than this, but I'm not. I slip my arms around his neck and nuzzle into him, inhaling deeply, trying to memorize his scent in the moment so that I'll never forget it. He sighs a little and relaxes into me so that I'm practically holding him up.

"I love you, Paul." His whispered words make my heart clench. "I love you so fucking much."

"I know, Jake, I know," I assure him as I pull back and stare deep into his dark brown eyes. "Me too…"

And I do. I love him so much, but I've found that sometimes love just isn't enough of a reason to stay. We've loved each other for so many years, yet we just keep hurting each other. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes not, but what it comes down to is the fact that there are now more bad times than good and we can't keep doing this to each other. I'm far from innocent in this situation, and so is he.

It's a hard decision to make, but tomorrow, I'm going to leave here and let him go. Making good on all of the times I threatened that I would.

"Make love to me, Paul…" he pleads, planting a passionate kiss on my lips.

My body automatically responds to his, just the way it always has. My fingers end up tangled in his hair and my tongue slips into his mouth. I want to remember him, all of him, no matter how wrong it is of me to do.

"Okay," I agree without even thinking about it. I justify to myself that it's just one more time and I owe it to Jacob and myself to do this. Tonight I'll make love to him, hold him tight, and give in just one last time. For a few more hours, we can stay in this bubble and pretend tomorrow doesn't exist.

Jacob grabs my hand and pulls me toward the bedroom. There's a feeling of extreme guilt and sadness settling over us and it's almost like he already knows my decision.

He toys with the hem of my shirt as if he's trying to decide what to do next. I just stand there next to the bed, unsure of how he wants to do this. It's so awkward and it seems wrong because this is the one aspect of our relationship that has always been perfect. We've always been so in tune with each other's bodies that we've never had to ask what the other wanted because we just knew.

I make a split second decision and grab his shirt roughly, tugging it over his head and attacking his nipple with my mouth. His moans are hot as hell and I want to make this perfect for him. I need to make this memory stand out so that there's something good to be remembered from this fucked up night.

I lick his left nipple then bite at it roughly while twisting and pinching his right one between my fingers.

"Oh, fuck, baby," he murmurs.

"You like that, huh?" I ask him, knowing how much it turns him on when I talk to him this way. "You love when I play with your nipples, don't you?"

"God, yes, baby. So good, so fucking good," he babbles, his eyes rolling back into his head.

I kiss my way down his stomach, licking and nibbling at his delicious skin. My fingers easily pop his jeans open and I pull them down along with his boxers. Jake's hands are grabbing anywhere and everywhere on my body that he can reach—my arms, my back, my hair, all over. He's always felt the need to constantly touch me, says it makes him feel more connected to me during such a primal way of expressing our love.

He kicks his legs free of his pants and my mouth engulfs his cock without warning. He cries out incoherently as I work my way up and down his shaft—licking, sucking, swirling.

I know he's close when his eyes squeeze together tightly and his face scrunches up in that way that lets me know he's trying to prolong the experience. I reach up and tug lightly on his balls, taking him in as far as I can, swallowing around him until he explodes in my mouth.

"Oh, fuck, Paul… yeah, fuck, yes." His words spur me on and I continue to suck until I'm sure he's given me everything he has to give. I pull off of him and move up to lie down next to him.

Jake kisses my shoulder and lays his head on my chest. He looks up at me as he speaks and I can hear the emotion he's trying not to let break through. "Wow, baby, that was amazing."

I just nod and smile at him because I can't trust my voice not to betray me right now. I lean down and kiss the top of his head gently; holding him in my arms after a powerful orgasm is one of the few times that things are ever perfectly peaceful between us.

The throbbing between my legs alerts me to the fact that I've been ignoring my own raging hard on as I tended to my beautiful boy. This is about him tonight, about giving him what he needs even if it means I'm being selfish by doing so, but I can no longer ignore my own needs as it's getting painful.

Jacob knows, like he always does, exactly what I need to hear. He leans up and kisses me hard before whispering in my ear. "I want you, baby. I want to feel you so deep inside of me… until I beg for mercy."

I sit up and he pulls my shirt over my head; his eyes never leave mine and my heart swells so much. I can feel every ounce of love that he has for me and I'm tempted to change my mind. It's almost as if his soul is pleading with mine and I'm so, so close to giving in. So close to staying.

Jake slides my jeans down until they join his in a pile on the floor and pushes me back until I'm lying flat on the bed. I can see the dominant side of him coming out to play as he reaches over to the night stand and pulls out the lube.

He squeezes a generous amount on his fingers and crouches over me, keeping his eyes on mine as he slowly pushes one of his fingers inside himself.

He's not playing fair and he knows it. His trademark grin is plastered on his face as he stretches himself… nothing turns me on more than watching my boy ready himself for me. My dick is aching with anticipation and before I have time to really think about what's happening, he drizzles some lube on my cock, strokes me a few times, and impales himself on me.

"Oh, fucking Christ, Jake" I cry out as the sensation of being buried deep inside of him takes over. He's so tight and warm. As cheesy as it sounds, he's Heaven.

"You like that, huh?" he asks me as he rides my cock. I know he's mocking my words from earlier but I can't bring myself to care because it feels too amazing to think about anything else right now.

"Oh, God… Oh, fuck, yes… Jake, just like that," I mumble, barely able to spit out a coherent thought as my hips rise to meet his, thrust for thrust.

I let him ride me like that for a few more moments because he's so fucking gorgeous moving his hips with mine, his head thrown back and ecstasy written all over his face. He leans down and kisses me, shoving his tongue in my mouth and moving his with mine.

I pull him off of me and position him on his left side. I curl up behind him, hook my right arm under his right knee, and slowly press myself back into him. I continue to thrust at a slow, sensual pace, kissing him all over his shoulder blades, his neck, his mouth. I'm trying to show him how much I love him, how much he means to me, and how I don't regret a single moment we spent together with my movements.

He doesn't say anything, just kisses me back when I reach his mouth and his grunts mixed with my moans create the background music for our love making.

Seeing him so lost in our passion is one of the most beautiful sights in the world— making those priceless masterpieces hanging in art museums look amateur. I watch as Jake grasps his own cock in his hand and starts to stroke himself slowly, to the same rhythm I set and have not varied from.

We spend long moments just tangled up together, touching in every way possible, connected in the most intimate act of love and my heart is breaking. I know what I'm doing is going to break us, both of us.

But it has to be done.

Doesn't he see we're like fire and gasoline? We're no good for each other anymore and if I don't leave now, we'll end up blown to pieces one of these days, hating each other and having no good memories left.

I'm so close and I tell him, beg him to come with me as the coil in my stomach bursts loose and explodes through me. Jake releases all over the sheets in front of his body while a string of obscene words flows out of my mouth.

We lay there together, catching our breaths and holding each other tight.

Jake finally breaks the silence. "Shower?" he suggests and I agree.

He takes my hand and pulls me into the bathroom, running the water and guiding me in. The mood between us hasn't gotten any better, it's somber at best but somehow it fits. We wash each other thoroughly, making sure to touch, kiss, and love at every given opportunity.

Once we are done and I turn off the shower, we step out and continue our display of affection by drying each other before trudging back to bed and crawling under the covers.

Jake curls up around me from behind, his left leg is thrown over mine and his left hand is sprawled out right across my heart. He randomly peppers kisses along my neck and shoulders before his breathing evens out and I'm sure he's asleep.

I will myself to sleep, trying desperately to forget my decision for these last few hours. I feel safe and secure wrapped up in Jake's arms; I know he loves me, I've never doubted that for one second but…

"Paul…" he interrupts my thoughts and my heart jumps at his words. "Please don't go."

I can hear the tears in his voice but I can't bring myself to turn and face him. "I know what you're thinking and we can make this work, I know we can."

"Jake," I begin to say slowly.

"No, please let me say what I have to say," he begs me.

"Okay…"

"I know we fight and argue and we hurt each other, but I also know that what we have is real and I'm not giving up on it. Paul, I love you so much and if you love me like you say you do, you won't run away from me, from us. Love doesn't run, it stays and fights for what is right. It's tough and it doesn't give up.

"Stay. Talk to me. We can go to counseling or do whatever it takes. I can't live without your love, Paul; it would be an existence but not a life… not one worth living anyway. Whatever it is, we can do it, we can get through this and it'll only make us stronger in the end. I want to save us, Paul, I need to save us."

He takes a deep breath and continues. "Leaving is taking the easy way out, and I know you. You never take the easy way… you're stubborn, pig-headed and you fight for what you want. Don't you want me anymore? Don't you love me?" he pleads, his words filled with desperation.

"You know I do, Jake, but can't you see what we've become? The good times are great but they're few and far between. I can't keep doing this to you and I can't keep letting you do this to me. It's our only option to save each other. I know you'd never leave but I have to do something, baby. This is killing me but I can't see any other way," I tell him, turning over to face him, to look him in the eye as I speak.

"You're taking the coward's way out," he accuses me. His body stiffens and his eyes go cold as I reach up to stroke his cheek.

"No, Jake, the coward in me would stay here to avoid the pain of losing you, but would be enduring more pain as we continue to strike out and hurt each other. I can't do it anymore."

Jake's silence is endless before his eyes soften again. "I don't want you to go."

"I know, baby, I know." He pulls me to him and holds me so tight, it's almost as if he wants to pull me inside of him and lock me up. I indulge one last time, wrapping my arms around his torso and holding on for dear life because I know that I'll never be this close to him again.

"You're going to regret this," he whispers. "I'll be here waiting for you if you ever want to come home, this will always be your home."

I can't say anything back to him so I just nod into his chest and slowly drift off into the darkness.

xxxxxx

My eyes open and I panic that I've slept too long before I look at the clock and realize I've barely slept two hours; it's only five- thirty. Jake still has a death grip on me and I have to gently pry his fingers and arms off of me to slip out of bed.

He stirs momentarily before rolling over and settling back into his dreams; I hope they're sweet ones.

I walk to the closet, pull out my ratty old duffel bag and start stuffing it with my clothes. I throw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie and grab a few of my toiletries from the bathroom. I don't need to take much with me. Jake can do whatever he wants with all of the stuff we've accumulated over the years.

I haven't even decided where I'm going yet, I'll probably have to stay in a hotel for a couple of nights until I do decide. With my cell phone securely in my pocket, I grab the picture frame off the dresser and toss it in my bag. Jake will be pissed when he realizes it's gone but I need something and it's the only thing I want.

It's a picture of us lying on the couch at my mom's during Spring break two years ago. Jake is in front of me sleeping. My head is barely above his and the look in my eyes shows nothing but the love and adoration that I hold for him. It's the perfect picture of one of our most peaceful times together and it's going to get me through a lot of rough patches that I know are sure to come.

Taking one last look around our bedroom, I drop the bag by the door and walk over to Jake. My heart breaks and a single tear rolls down my cheek as I lean over, placing one small kiss on his forehead.

"I love you, Jake, never forget that," I whisper. "I'm sorry…"

I pick up the bag and turn out the door, shutting it quietly behind me. I grab my laptop case from the living room and leave the house that's been my home for the past two years.

I walk to my car that's parked across the street and throw my stuff in the back seat before getting in and sticking the keys in the ignition. I'm not sure how much time passes as I just sit there and stare at the window to our bedroom, warring with myself. Part of me, the weaker part, wants to forget I made this decision and go back in there and pretend that everything will be okay.

The stronger part of me says that if I do, things might change for a while, but eventually they'll go right back to where they are now and that's a place neither of us deserve to be.

The sun is coming up now and I know Jake will be waking up soon, only to realize that I'm gone. I just can't seem to force myself to put the car in drive. I rest my head on the steering wheel for a few minutes before I chance one last look at the bedroom window.

Jake is standing there in front of the curtain, staring directly at me. His gaze is burning a hole in my heart and I know then that I'm doing the right thing, he deserves better than what I can give him.

I see him mouth the words "I love you" to me and I put the car into drive. "I'm sorry" I mouth back to him as I pull away from the curb and drive past the house. My vision is blurry but I know it's for the best, even though my heart is officially shattered.

All I want is to be back in his arms, back in our bubble from last night, loving like there's no tomorrow. But it is tomorrow and I have to let him go.


End file.
